The Difference Between Dominance & Security
and why so few men know it
“I think you need someone that can handle you.”
There is some truth to it, at least enough that I don’t immediately say no. At least it resonates and I am not immediately saying no to their statement. In fact, they barely know me. On the other hand, it’s also probably what they think “strong women” would want to hear. Finally someone at the end of the night, catching what they truly want.
My initial resistance to say no, I have everything and I am no one to handle to begin with, is deeply anchored in a common misconception of mainly men I’ve tried to avoid for the longest time: when security that someone wants to give - can give - feels the need to give, is being mistaken for dominance. Handling someone is not equal to dominating someone.
For me this was always an eye to eye rather than power distance. Who truly wants to get dominated to begin with?
What I’ve noticed is that this kind of statement usually says more about the person delivering it than the person it’s directed at and here’s why (and some I wish more men would truly understand):
