On Setting Boundaries

And why it's intimidating to some...

“I made my point clear and I’d like to leave it at that.”

There it was - my boundary. I chose a neutral tone, I offered a solution before, I explained how I experienced the situation and suggested how to move forward.

And yet: They tried to push me into more communication. They ignored the more discreet boundaries I’d set before which were totally appropriate in our situation.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that they wouldn’t have done that if they had known my age or if I had been a man. These thoughts made me first angry, then sad - as I’ve come across them so many times already.

This time I was able to see a bit further than usual: it wasn’t so much about me or my preferences - it was about them wanting to get emotionally regulated, and I simply opted out.

So much of boundary-setting isn’t about control: it’s about care.